Disappangryadurt

I haven't posted in a few days.  I just haven't felt like it.  Sure, there were things that I could have posted about (like the night Matt and I had a crazy possum encounter or when I bit off a skittle-sized chunk of my tongue while eating skittle-sized watermelon chunks...how to tell them apart?) but I just wasn't feeling it.  And what fun is writing if you don't feel it?!

Alas, I'm still struggling a bit with "feeling" this post.  But I do feel like I should at least post something.  Because it's not like my days are incredibly busy or anything.

So what am I posting about?  I wasn't sure when I started writing, but I think I have my answer.  Feelings.  Ha.  Go ahead and cringe.  I don't blame you.  But really, I've talked about feeling things quite a bit in this post already, so why stop now?

I have a lot of feelings.  I always have.  I'm a feel-y person.  I'm very passionate.  I'm also very compassionate.  To a degree that is annoying, really (tearing up when I see a dead dog or cat on the road, for example.  That's annoying).  I used to hide everything I felt, but now?  Now I'm usually pretty open about things.  Some might say that I "wear my heart on my sleeve".

But a lot of the time it's really hard for me to discern exactly what I am feeling.  Take my last post, for instance.  I am disappointed in people.  I am disappointed that people I trusted and cared about are treating me like I am not worth the time of day.  But I'm not only disappointed, I'm angry and sad and hurt.  It's difficult to tell which I am feeling most at any given time or if the are all a big messy pot of emotion sauce.  Disappangryadurt.  All of them together.  That's it!  I'm disappangryadurt.

But I think one thing that should be clarified is that, though I am disappangryadurt with those people, it is in no way an over-arching, all encompassing emotion.  I'm actually pretty happy most of the time.  I don't walk through the grocery store with "disappangryadurt" on my sleeve.  I don't go to Sonic Happy Hour with "disappangryadurt" stamped on my forehead.  I only feel that way toward certain people, and only when I think of or am reminded of aforementioned people.

And when I'm not disappangryadurt, I'm happy, hungry, and sleepy.  Happungreepy.

Gracious, I'm starting to sound like Lewis Carroll.

Comments

Popular Posts