Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Emotion Gumbo - Losing Our Jobs Part 1

Today has been a crazy up and down, all around, reconnect with your emotions kind of day.

This morning my boss pulled me aside and simply said "We are letting you go." I must admit, I never saw this coming. Ever. There was no warning. No "you might lose your job if..." No hint that anything was slightly amiss. As he proceeded to give me what I felt to be a somewhat confusing and less than satisfactory explanation, all I could think was that this must be some kind of joke. Any minute now someone was going to come in and say, "Oh man! You should have seen your face!!"

About 10 minutes after I was told that I no longer had a job, I was informed that my husband was also being let go. They were firing both of us. Their reason for letting him go? His relationship with me (well, that was what I was told. Word for word. Matt was told that he would not be able to support us on his salary alone and THAT was why he was fired).

And that was it. No paperwork. I gathered my things from the office - the computer with the emails left unanswered. The jacket and scarf that had only been taken off an hour before. The breakfast that never got eaten. The Sugar Plum Spice tea (I was so excited about that...) that I never got to drink. And then I went home. And Matt and I sat. And we cried. And we prayed. And cried some more. I literally got dehydrated from crying so much.

We know God has a purpose. We know He has a plan. We know He is good. And He will provide. We want to honor and glorify Him through this. We want to have full faith that we will find jobs and a place to live (did I mention we were told that we no longer have a house? We have to move by December 15).

We have to trust that my boss really does believe he made the right decision. We have to believe that he really did pray about it. But there are so many questions left unanswered. Why was I never told anything was wrong? Why was there no warning? Why was it handled this way? How did it seem like the right thing to do to fire a newlywed couple and kick them out of their house? At Christmastime, even?

Last night I had a dream. I've always thought that God occasionally reveals things to me through dreams. I remember dreaming something about Habakkuk 3:6. I didn't know what it said. I just knew it was really important. So when I woke up I read it:

"When He stops the earth shakes. When He looks the nations tremble. He shatters the everlasting mountains and levels the eternal hills. He is the Eternal One!"

This is the God Matt and I serve. This is the God that is taking care of us. This is the God who loves us.

And then I turned the page over and read this, not knowing how true it would be of my life just one short hour later:

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights."
Habakkuk 3:17-19

Even though we lost our jobs and we lost our home; even though we lost our community and we lost our friends, we must choose joy. The Lord IS sovereign and He WILL enable us to make it through this. Even so, we would greatly appreciate your prayers.

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Can I haz email plz?

So Camp's email server has been down for the past 2 days, and I am literally going crazy. I normally get anywhere from 10-30 emails a day, and I spend a good portion of my day typing little digital letters.

So...when I have a retreat group in that is fairly self-sufficient and doesn't need me for everything, without emails I am somewhat at a loss for what to do!

It's silly how debilitating this is. Pathetic, really. Ahhh the advances of modern technology.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

The Narnia Tree

Every single day I walk to work, and every single day I walk home from work. There is a tree in the field on my way home, and the trunk splits into two and twists somewhat like a double helix.

However, I think it looks like the Narnia tree that Aslan sends the Pevensie kids through to return them to their world.

Secretly I sometimes think that the tree will untwist revealing a secret doorway that will transport me into Narnia. Of course, I would want to take Matt with me to live in Narnia.

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

On Fine Dining Experiences

Last week Matt drove to Texarkana to run an errand for Camp, and at a whopping 10 hours from our home, he was going to have to be gone overnight. I wasn't ready to spend a night alone just yet, so I tagged along. I'll spare you the boring details of our long drive, but we did have some interesting food experiences...

Once we arrived in Texarkana it was almost 8 PM and it was dark and rainy. We checked into the hotel and asked about the closest place to get some food, to which the answer was "there's a Denny's right across the street." She was hard to understand because her Southern drawl was so thick, but we figured it out. Knowing that we couldn't spend a lot of money on food and we were tired, we took the desk lady up on her suggestion and headed over to Denny's.

I think before that night I had only ever eaten at a Denny's once before, and it was in college. The only other experience I have had with Denny's was watching Tim Allen and his son eat there after burning the Christmas turkey in "The Santa Clause". So obviously I wasn't ready for what we were walking into.

As we walk in, we are seated by a nice man who allows us to pick any place in the restaurant. Turns out, the table we chose was right by the kitchen and right by the counter that all the staff stand behind. And oh my goodness! Never have I ever heard or seen such unprofessionalism, even if it IS a Denny's! Matt ordered a peppermint hot chocolate, which was simply hot chocolate mix with 2 candy canes in it. The girl that brought it out said "I promise I didn't make this" and then later looks in the mug and says "Ugh! I REALLY didn't make this!" The look of disgust on her face was so reassuring.

The whole time we sat there we listened to our waitress gripe to another coworker (supposedly a manager) about everything under the sun and talk about how they were neglecting customers...on purpose ("Please tell me they weren't a secret shopper!!" "I think they were...I'm pretty sure."). At times they were even shouting these things across the restaurant to each other. The food was sub par (all I ordered was chicken noodle soup - how do you screw that up?!) and the service was terrible. And the floor was sticky, which is gross. Needless to say, I was relieved to get out of there!

On our way back to Camp the following day, we stopped at a McDonald's for dinner - again, because there were no other options. And do you know what we discovered? McDonald's now has computer games at their booths! As if the little kids who are eating the unhealthy, greasy, fatty Frankenstein food need to play any more computer games! Sure, there was still a play place, but I didn't see any kids jumping up and running in there if they could play on the computer instead! On the positive side of things, they sanitized the computer screens (they were touch screens) whenever no one was sitting at the booth - that surprised Matt and I, but in a good way.

But really, I still didn't enjoy the food at McDonald's, even though I ordered chicken selects products. It was still super greasy, there were strings and wads of fat in my chicken, and after picking at it, I eventually gave up and just ate fries (the irony!).

And really, it's good to be back and eating home cooked meals again. Even the Sysco food down at camp is a million times better than the food we had on our trip (but then again, our camp food is better than most ;) )!
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