Sunday, 30 October 2011

Working and Moving

I am relieved that this week has come to an end.  It was just kinda an overall crappy week.  I'm sure you know how that goes.

I'm not really sure what the deal was, but I woke up at 2:20 every morning, and my dreams were filled with school.  It was as if I never left school all week long.  When I woke up at 2:20, it was usually because of some school dream I had and I started thinking about what I still needed to do and how to get it done.  I also got a pounding headache every afternoon, like clockwork.  On Friday, the headache was so bad that 2 Excedrin Migraine and a Dr. Pepper didn't even make a dent in it.

Yesterday afternoon, Matt went to Austin for a football game with some of my cousins, and I think it was some much needed guy time.  While he was gone, I watched girly movies and worked on school.  It wasn't a bad afternoon, I have to say.

The weather has been nice and cool this weekend, too.  I love waking up to 30 or 40 something degrees.  Wearing slippers and cuddly clothes is just fun when you don't get to do it that often.  So today will probably just be laid back.  Thankfully, I got all my work done yesterday and so I will be able to relax for one day.  Then it's back to the grindstone tomorrow!

Oh, and we are actually moving in 6 days.  I'm excited and stressed out all at once.  Moving is usually a stressful thing, anyway, but I feel like this will be more stressful than before.  We are moving into a smaller space than our last home, and so I am positive that not everything will fit.  It has also been so long since we have lived in our own place that I actually don't even remember what we do own.  And moving is so time consuming!  How do you find the time to move when you don't ever have time to do anything other than work?

Even though I'm stressing about it, I really am excited.  It's really weird - it's like I know that we are moving, but it probably won't really sink in until it happens.  So, just as a forewarning, it may be more than a week until my next post.  6 days!

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Why This Fall is Different

I can hardly believe that we are nearing the end of October.  October has always been one of my very favorite months, and I always look forward to it.  And I'm always really sad when it is over.

Last October was difficult.  One of my dear friends lost her newborn child after just 36 hours on this earth.  It was absolutely devastating.  This past week was the one year mark of little Gwen's birth and journey to eternity with Jesus, and I can hardly believe it.

This October (and this fall in general) has been very hard for me.  While I love teaching, I love my students, I love my school, and I love my new friends, my heart aches for what once was.

Last fall, I was picking fresh, ripe pears from trees just down the hill that my house was on.  I made pear pie, and it was awesome.

Last fall, Matt and I had a house that we had made a home, and we had people over for dinner all the time.  We had good friends, a great community, and we loved being able to share our home, our food, and our lives with them.

Last year, we could sit on the front porch of our home and look out across the river to the adjacent hills and watch the sunset paint the sky with brilliant colors and enjoy the peaceful quiet that life in the middle of nowhere brings.


Last year, we could walk from our house to any of our friends' houses in a matter of minutes.

Last year, we could walk from our house to our jobs in a matter of minutes.

Last year, our good friends got married and we were so excited about being newlyweds all together, sharing in that experience and learning together.

Last year, we didn't have any worries.  Our house came with our jobs, and our expenses were low.  We were able to save a lot of money.


This year is completely different.

We are still living with my parents.  The good news is that we have found an apartment that we can afford and that we actually like, and we are moving in soon!  But no place has really felt like HOME in a year.  To me, our house at Camp Eagle still IS our home.  I miss it terribly.  I loved that house.  Small, but perfect.  Ours.

We had no friends until August.  We now have three friends in this city, and all three are girls who teach with me at the school.  We get along great, and they are so much fun!  Matt enjoys hanging out with them, too, which is great.  But we don't have any married friends.  And we don't have any guy friends.  I feel like we both need that, Matt more than me.  Because we haven't had our own place...or any friends...we haven't had people over.  Have you noticed we love having people over?

This year, instead of beautiful views, we have 1604 and I-10.  We have highways and traffic and sirens and air planes.

I love my job now, but I also really loved the job I had then, too.  You always knew how you were doing because the guests told you so.  When you needed help or didn't quite know what to do, there was always someone who could give you some insight or a fantastic solution, because I worked on a team.  I am the only science teacher for my grades, and am the only middle school teacher on the first floor.  I'm pretty much on my own most of the time.  And I never have any idea how I am doing.  How do you even measure the success of a teacher?

No matter how hard we try not to think about it, there are reminders of our old life everywhere.  The kids at my school all wear Camp Eagle shirts on spirit day...even some of the teachers, too.  My facebook news feed is always filled with people talking about loving their jobs at camp, or loving their camp family, which just reminds me about how we were kicked out of that family.  And, of course, the giant billboard they placed along 1604 that guarantees I will be reminded of Camp Eagle at least once every day, if not more, as it is on my way home from work and church.


Like I said.  This fall has been so different for us.  For some reason, this fall is almost as difficult as the first few months after losing our jobs.  I've cried more this fall than I did during the summer.  I dread the coming months, which will bring back memories of last Thanksgiving (saying over and over how thankful we were for our jobs and how much we loved them...); of decorating our house for our first Christmas together (we were so excited) and having to tear down all the decorations the next day because we were told we no longer had a home.


As time goes on, I realize that I don't know if this wound will ever fully heal.

Monday, 10 October 2011

On Missing School

Today has been a really weird day.

It's Columbus Day, and so school is out.  In fact, my school was closed - I wasn't allowed to go up there to get work done.  I stayed home.  Everyone else went to work. 

It felt a lot like when I was still looking for a job.  Matt left, and I was the only one home.  Granted, I did work on school all day long (got the next 2 weeks planned - now I just have to create everything I planned...).  But still.  It was rather surreal.  I almost felt like I should be sitting on the couch reading a Lauren Willig novel instead of staying in Science-world all day.

This week will be a really weird week.

I have to show up for jury duty tomorrow.  To say that I am not looking forward to it is a gross understatement.  But Columbus Day + jury duty = 3-day work week for me.  On Friday I'm going to think it is Wednesday, and I will be very confused when Saturday makes its appearance the next day.

Like I said.  Weird.

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Millie


Hi!  My name is Millie, and I am just so stinkin' cute!  I'm a little fuzzy, roly-poly puff ball.  My favorite games include biting, destroying anything and everything in my path, chasing balls, getting under your feet and tripping you, and dancing on keyboards as you are trying to type.  Chasing shadows is really fun, too!  I also love to eat sticks and plastic and used tissues from the trash can...but my favorite thing to eat is ICE!  Seriously.  When I hear you getting ice, I will run from wherever I am straight to the freezer and will sit ever so still waiting for you to share!  After I eat my ice (well, really any time), I will come and give you lots of kisses all over your face!  It's extra points if I can get my tongue up your nose, in your ear, or in your mouth.  That's the best.

My BFF is Jack.  People think we're related, but we aren't.  This is us at a picnic!

 
So.  Am I the cutest thing you've ever seen or what?!



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