Agonizing
I think that's probably the best word to describe the beginning of 2011 for Matt and I. It has been one month and two days since we were let go. One month and two days since we moved in with my parents. We are so, SO thankful for their generosity, hospitality, patience, etc. However, sometimes we just wish he had our own home again. They have not done anything to make us feel this way at all, but I feel like such a freeloading bum.
Our days are filled with questions, hard discussions, tears, prayers, searches, and awkward moments.
Who knew it would be so hard to pick a stinkin' state?! Maybe that's it. Maybe we knew it would be hard...just not how hard, and that is what is smacking us in the face. We are literally agonizing over the decision. What is God's will? What will be best for our future family? How many people will this decision hurt? Why do we have to do this? Does God really think we can handle this?
It's been a month and two days, and we still have no answers (except, perhaps, that yes, we do have to do this and yes, God apparently does think we can handle this).
So for now, I guess we keep asking questions. Keep having hard discussions. Cry more often than what is comfortable. Keep praying. And brave through the awkward moments.
Our days are filled with questions, hard discussions, tears, prayers, searches, and awkward moments.
Who knew it would be so hard to pick a stinkin' state?! Maybe that's it. Maybe we knew it would be hard...just not how hard, and that is what is smacking us in the face. We are literally agonizing over the decision. What is God's will? What will be best for our future family? How many people will this decision hurt? Why do we have to do this? Does God really think we can handle this?
It's been a month and two days, and we still have no answers (except, perhaps, that yes, we do have to do this and yes, God apparently does think we can handle this).
So for now, I guess we keep asking questions. Keep having hard discussions. Cry more often than what is comfortable. Keep praying. And brave through the awkward moments.
Comments
I feel for you guys, this must be a confusing and difficult time. I'll send you a message soon, I've been meaning to get in touch. Thinking of you!
-KIT
Christine - Thanks for your encouragement! We are very thankful for our family...they have made this difficult time a bit easier.