Let's Talk About Winter
Let's talk, shall we?
One thing I've had a difficult time coming to terms with is my blogging style. I want this to be a place to share what is going on in my life and my heart. I want it to be balanced and honest. I want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly while not crossing boundaries of privacy. I don't want to overwhelm you with negativity. Which, at least right now, is easier said than done.
Shortly after Matt and I lost our jobs, I mentioned that I wanted to move on. I didn't want to dwell on the past; I wanted to look ahead. I was hopeful, and possibly naive. Of course, at that point I never would have imagined that seven months later Matt and I would still be stuck in a rut, living with my parents in a city we don't love. But I think I overlooked the fact that December 1, 2010 was a defining moment in our lives. It changed things. Big time. And one thing that has definitely changed is me.
So while I don't feel like I'm stuck in the past, longing for the things of yesterday, moving forward has not been as rosy (or easy) as I might have previously imagined. I've felt guilty for writing sad things, for being negative. But as I mentioned before, I want to be honest.
And I realized - just like I won't write about how warm and sunny and SO TOTALLY AWESOME it is in the middle of January when it's raining and twenty degrees, it doesn't make sense for me to write posts about how happy I am and how great life is and everything is just SO TOTALLY AWESOME when, quite frankly, it's not.
Life is full of seasons. Right now is my winter. It can be (but isn't always) cold and lonely, and it seems to be dragging on forever (did you picture the kid from The Sandlot, too?). I'm looking forward to the upcoming spring and summer seasons in my life. I'm looking forward to seeing healing come from the brokenness and...you know. Creative metaphors like that. I'm looking forward to my summer, when all is well*.
And while I'm looking forward to those things, it would be foolish to act as if I'm already there, just as it would be stupid to wear a tank top, shorts, and flip flops in the dead frost of winter. That's denial, and that's dumb. Winter won't go away because I will it to. It will run its course, and I will run with it.
So I'm going to be honest. Because it's my proverbial winter, I'm going to write about it. And when the next seasons come along, I'll write about them, too. That doesn't mean that I can't post funny things and lighthearted things at all. It just means that it is what it is. You know? I think my challenge will be writing honestly and not despairingly. You guys hold me accountable to that, okay?
Well, now. I'm glad we had this chat.
*Wouldn't that be so ironic to experience my proverbial summer in the literal winter? You know, since I'm experiencing my proverbial winter in the summer? Haha. ....But really, I don't want to wait that long.
One thing I've had a difficult time coming to terms with is my blogging style. I want this to be a place to share what is going on in my life and my heart. I want it to be balanced and honest. I want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly while not crossing boundaries of privacy. I don't want to overwhelm you with negativity. Which, at least right now, is easier said than done.
Shortly after Matt and I lost our jobs, I mentioned that I wanted to move on. I didn't want to dwell on the past; I wanted to look ahead. I was hopeful, and possibly naive. Of course, at that point I never would have imagined that seven months later Matt and I would still be stuck in a rut, living with my parents in a city we don't love. But I think I overlooked the fact that December 1, 2010 was a defining moment in our lives. It changed things. Big time. And one thing that has definitely changed is me.
So while I don't feel like I'm stuck in the past, longing for the things of yesterday, moving forward has not been as rosy (or easy) as I might have previously imagined. I've felt guilty for writing sad things, for being negative. But as I mentioned before, I want to be honest.
And I realized - just like I won't write about how warm and sunny and SO TOTALLY AWESOME it is in the middle of January when it's raining and twenty degrees, it doesn't make sense for me to write posts about how happy I am and how great life is and everything is just SO TOTALLY AWESOME when, quite frankly, it's not.
Life is full of seasons. Right now is my winter. It can be (but isn't always) cold and lonely, and it seems to be dragging on forever (did you picture the kid from The Sandlot, too?). I'm looking forward to the upcoming spring and summer seasons in my life. I'm looking forward to seeing healing come from the brokenness and...you know. Creative metaphors like that. I'm looking forward to my summer, when all is well*.
And while I'm looking forward to those things, it would be foolish to act as if I'm already there, just as it would be stupid to wear a tank top, shorts, and flip flops in the dead frost of winter. That's denial, and that's dumb. Winter won't go away because I will it to. It will run its course, and I will run with it.
So I'm going to be honest. Because it's my proverbial winter, I'm going to write about it. And when the next seasons come along, I'll write about them, too. That doesn't mean that I can't post funny things and lighthearted things at all. It just means that it is what it is. You know? I think my challenge will be writing honestly and not despairingly. You guys hold me accountable to that, okay?
Well, now. I'm glad we had this chat.
*Wouldn't that be so ironic to experience my proverbial summer in the literal winter? You know, since I'm experiencing my proverbial winter in the summer? Haha. ....But really, I don't want to wait that long.
Comments
That doesn't mean *being* negative, of course; e.g. saying "There IS no light at the end of the tunnel." You're not being negative; you're writing about a struggle with negativity, etc. And again, sharing your struggles helps other people. Hopefully taking the time to write out your thoughts is helping you, too. I know it helps me, and it's been shown that journaling during hard times makes a big difference.
So please don't stop!
Jennifer P
(PS, the "captcha code" for me to comment today spells BLESS. Interesting!)