Shadow Monster

Oh hey.  Remember the last time I posted?  It was several days ago.  I've wanted to post since then.  Really.  I have a handful of things that I really want to post about; things that I would love to share and put out there.  But something has come up recently.  I think it's been sneaking up on me for a while - you know, like those shadow monsters in cartoons.  This shadow monster's name is depression.

I hate that name.  I hate that shadow monster.  I've seen him before, but he's left me alone for the past 6 years or so.  Funny thing is, he's smaller than he used to be.  This is good, though.

Let me explain.  Depression runs in my family.  At one point or another, most of us experience a bout (or bouts) of depression.  I've had severe depression before.  This is not severe depression.  This is minor.  Easily fixable.  This isn't my first rodeo.  I know what I'm talking about.  Just trust me.  Okay?  Okay.

This time it took me a while to catch on that I might be depressed.  I've been exhausted and had no energy.  I sleep more.  I'm more irritable.  I cry more.  I lack motivation to do things that I like to do and things I need to do. (Then I feel bad for not doing them.  Then I feel worthless.  Then I have even less energy or motivation to do anything.  It's a vicious cycle.)

I am positive that once I find a job and my days have purpose again, I won't feel like this anymore.  Once I am making myself useful on a regular basis, I am very hopeful that things will improve.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I feel for you sweet girl! A job will help! Even baby steps like the ZCrew can be awesome! Also? I heart therapy

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