On Being Absent and Also Present
So if I'm really stressed out, busy, or unhappy, I don't really blog. I just don't feel like writing, and I have the worst writer's block EVER. Since I last posted, I've been stressed out, busy, and unhappy, so I've been rather absent in the blogosphere. However, part of my absence here can be attributed to my presence elsewhere - a classroom.
I've been substitute teaching in a private Christian school here in town. It's been so great to be back in a classroom, but this week was quite a challenge. I had agreed to sub for a first grade class the whole week (sans Friday, Battle of the Flowers) and Monday morning when I walked into the class, I couldn't figure out where anything was. It took me way too long to find her sub plans and the materials I needed. I felt like the classroom was really just not very organized. (As someone who tends to be very organized and very detail oriented, a lot of things don't quite fit into what I would call "organized". Not terribly unusual.)
I very soon learned that this class was "the most difficult class" of the whole school. I didn't just hear that from one teacher or staff member, though. I heard it from many. Several teachers checked in with me daily to make sure I was still doing okay. I didn't want to put the kids in a box and label them a terrible class, but they really were a handful. I've taught in Kinder, 1st, 2nd, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade classrooms, but this was the most difficult class I have ever had. It took a lot of prayer and patience to make it through the week with those kids.
I know that a lot of successful teaching and classroom management revolves around procedures, expectations and organization. I didn't know what any of the classroom procedures were, and the students' behavior didn't clue me in to any procedures either. They just kinda did whatever they wanted. The only expectations or rules posted were in an obscure corner of the room, difficult to see. There is only so much I can do as a substitute with only four days, but I did my best. By the end of the week, they knew that there would be a list on the board of what they needed each morning. They knew that they must stay in their seat and raise their hand if they need anything. They knew how I wanted them to respond to questions, who should be talking at what time, and they said "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". They did so well on the final day that I gave each of them a sticker (which is a huge deal to them).
We still had some low points. They could not for the life of them line up to go places. It took them more than five minutes each time to line up, follow directions, and be quiet enough to go out in the hall. Once we got in the hall they were great (usually). I had to send one boy to the office twice. TWICE. I'd never sent a student to the office before. I sent another boy to a timeout in a different classroom. There were plenty of pulled cards.
Part of me wonders if things were set up differently in the classroom if the students would be more well behaved. If they knew what was expected of them every day, maybe they would meet and exceed those expectations. If there were consistent procedures, maybe they wouldn't be so loud, rowdy, and all over the place. Maybe there are expectations and procedures in the class and they just don't want to follow through with them when their teacher is gone. That's a possibility. I don't really know.
I'm not trying to knock this teacher. This woman is incredible and has more patience than anyone I know if she can deal lovingly with these kids for a whole school year. Not everyone is as detail oriented or organized as I am, and that's okay. What works for me doesn't always work for others. And clearly, she has a teaching job and I don't. She has more experience than I do.
This week left me completely exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. But I still think it was a good week. I went from feeling like a failure as a teacher (I can't get these kids under control, we're not making it through all the material, this is embarrassing!) to feeling like things were going to be okay after all (they don't hate me, they've made progress, they can be so sweet, their behavior has improved so much!). And it's given me valuable experience.
And I was that much more excited about my yoga class on Friday.
I've been substitute teaching in a private Christian school here in town. It's been so great to be back in a classroom, but this week was quite a challenge. I had agreed to sub for a first grade class the whole week (sans Friday, Battle of the Flowers) and Monday morning when I walked into the class, I couldn't figure out where anything was. It took me way too long to find her sub plans and the materials I needed. I felt like the classroom was really just not very organized. (As someone who tends to be very organized and very detail oriented, a lot of things don't quite fit into what I would call "organized". Not terribly unusual.)
I very soon learned that this class was "the most difficult class" of the whole school. I didn't just hear that from one teacher or staff member, though. I heard it from many. Several teachers checked in with me daily to make sure I was still doing okay. I didn't want to put the kids in a box and label them a terrible class, but they really were a handful. I've taught in Kinder, 1st, 2nd, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade classrooms, but this was the most difficult class I have ever had. It took a lot of prayer and patience to make it through the week with those kids.
I know that a lot of successful teaching and classroom management revolves around procedures, expectations and organization. I didn't know what any of the classroom procedures were, and the students' behavior didn't clue me in to any procedures either. They just kinda did whatever they wanted. The only expectations or rules posted were in an obscure corner of the room, difficult to see. There is only so much I can do as a substitute with only four days, but I did my best. By the end of the week, they knew that there would be a list on the board of what they needed each morning. They knew that they must stay in their seat and raise their hand if they need anything. They knew how I wanted them to respond to questions, who should be talking at what time, and they said "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". They did so well on the final day that I gave each of them a sticker (which is a huge deal to them).
We still had some low points. They could not for the life of them line up to go places. It took them more than five minutes each time to line up, follow directions, and be quiet enough to go out in the hall. Once we got in the hall they were great (usually). I had to send one boy to the office twice. TWICE. I'd never sent a student to the office before. I sent another boy to a timeout in a different classroom. There were plenty of pulled cards.
Part of me wonders if things were set up differently in the classroom if the students would be more well behaved. If they knew what was expected of them every day, maybe they would meet and exceed those expectations. If there were consistent procedures, maybe they wouldn't be so loud, rowdy, and all over the place. Maybe there are expectations and procedures in the class and they just don't want to follow through with them when their teacher is gone. That's a possibility. I don't really know.
I'm not trying to knock this teacher. This woman is incredible and has more patience than anyone I know if she can deal lovingly with these kids for a whole school year. Not everyone is as detail oriented or organized as I am, and that's okay. What works for me doesn't always work for others. And clearly, she has a teaching job and I don't. She has more experience than I do.
This week left me completely exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. But I still think it was a good week. I went from feeling like a failure as a teacher (I can't get these kids under control, we're not making it through all the material, this is embarrassing!) to feeling like things were going to be okay after all (they don't hate me, they've made progress, they can be so sweet, their behavior has improved so much!). And it's given me valuable experience.
And I was that much more excited about my yoga class on Friday.
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