they say that breaking up is hard to do
it's 11:13 on a tuesday night. and i am awake. i am awake because i do not have to get up at 5 tomorrow. i do not have to get up at 5 tomorrow because i do not have to go to school tomorrow. i do not have to go to school tomorrow because i finished my student teaching...yesterday.
i cannot even begin to explain how strange it feels. this morning i woke up at 8:30. i spent 2 hours straightening out certification stuff, paying fees, and registering to get fingerprinted. then i took a shower and went back to my old job to talk to them about possibly working there through Christmas. we will see how that goes....... :/ then i went and tutored one of my students, and came home. no papers to grade. no lesson plans to think about. after living the crazy buzy jam packed life of a teacher for the past 3 months, i just didn't even know what to do with myself today. granted, i did a lot of things, but it just didn't feel right!
like i told my best friend last night, i feel like i got dumped! those teachers that i worked with, the school, the classroom, and ultimately those kids were what my life revolved around for the past 3 months. i got to know them and came to love them and think of them as my students. it was bittersweet to hand them back over to jean on monday. it was all such a huge chunk of my life, and now that it's over, i don't know what to do!
i spent most of sunday writing goodbye notes to all my students, and then distributed them on monday. most of them came up and gave me hugs and told me they were going to miss me. it was sad because they didn't really understand why i was leaving. however, it was so sweet just to know how much i meant to them!
after school monday i packed up my things, took a good look at the room, and walked out. i will be honest - it has been a long, hard semester. probably one of the hardest i have ever experienced. it has also been one of the most blessed semesters, and i have by FAR learned the most these past 12 weeks alone then i have learned in all the other semesters combined! stress levels went through the roof (going back to the doctor tomorrow to figure out what to do about my heart)! drama was plentiful, but it wasn't always bad ;) i was blessed with a patient mentor teacher who put up with my ridiculousness! when i came into the student teaching semester, i really didn't expect to make any friends. maybe because my mentor teacher from methods was not exactly my friend (don't get me wrong, she was great, but we were never really friends). but i walked away with a lot more friends! and obviously my mentor teacher is the best of the bunch! like i said, SO BLESSED!
here are some pictures i took of my corner on monday:
my desk - it wasn't always this messy but i had already started to take things apart and move them around
my pictures that i feel do a good job of summing up the essence of me ;)
a bigger view of my corner. so messy right then!
and folks, that's it. what does my future hold? i don't know. but i was greatly encouraged today. i saw a verse in my mom's kitchen on a flip calendar, and it was from Psalms. it talked about how the Lord had every page of my life planned out before i was even a day old. that was just so reassuring - God knows what is going to happen next even if i don't! just because it appears to me that my life plans came to a screeching ugly halt does not mean they actually have. it just means i am very nearsighted. even though i don't see definite plans and i have no clue what is going on, God has definite plans for me and i don't have to have a clue right now. He can take care of it!
i cannot even begin to explain how strange it feels. this morning i woke up at 8:30. i spent 2 hours straightening out certification stuff, paying fees, and registering to get fingerprinted. then i took a shower and went back to my old job to talk to them about possibly working there through Christmas. we will see how that goes....... :/ then i went and tutored one of my students, and came home. no papers to grade. no lesson plans to think about. after living the crazy buzy jam packed life of a teacher for the past 3 months, i just didn't even know what to do with myself today. granted, i did a lot of things, but it just didn't feel right!
like i told my best friend last night, i feel like i got dumped! those teachers that i worked with, the school, the classroom, and ultimately those kids were what my life revolved around for the past 3 months. i got to know them and came to love them and think of them as my students. it was bittersweet to hand them back over to jean on monday. it was all such a huge chunk of my life, and now that it's over, i don't know what to do!
i spent most of sunday writing goodbye notes to all my students, and then distributed them on monday. most of them came up and gave me hugs and told me they were going to miss me. it was sad because they didn't really understand why i was leaving. however, it was so sweet just to know how much i meant to them!
after school monday i packed up my things, took a good look at the room, and walked out. i will be honest - it has been a long, hard semester. probably one of the hardest i have ever experienced. it has also been one of the most blessed semesters, and i have by FAR learned the most these past 12 weeks alone then i have learned in all the other semesters combined! stress levels went through the roof (going back to the doctor tomorrow to figure out what to do about my heart)! drama was plentiful, but it wasn't always bad ;) i was blessed with a patient mentor teacher who put up with my ridiculousness! when i came into the student teaching semester, i really didn't expect to make any friends. maybe because my mentor teacher from methods was not exactly my friend (don't get me wrong, she was great, but we were never really friends). but i walked away with a lot more friends! and obviously my mentor teacher is the best of the bunch! like i said, SO BLESSED!
here are some pictures i took of my corner on monday:
sad that it is my last day...and that i am about to tear down my "me" corner
my desk - it wasn't always this messy but i had already started to take things apart and move them around
my pictures that i feel do a good job of summing up the essence of me ;)
a bigger view of my corner. so messy right then!
and folks, that's it. what does my future hold? i don't know. but i was greatly encouraged today. i saw a verse in my mom's kitchen on a flip calendar, and it was from Psalms. it talked about how the Lord had every page of my life planned out before i was even a day old. that was just so reassuring - God knows what is going to happen next even if i don't! just because it appears to me that my life plans came to a screeching ugly halt does not mean they actually have. it just means i am very nearsighted. even though i don't see definite plans and i have no clue what is going on, God has definite plans for me and i don't have to have a clue right now. He can take care of it!
Comments
I LOVE my kids and Im not ready to give them up...Its like a break up! That is the perfect way of describing it!
Thanks for the Psalm verse. It's comforting and calming in this hectic time of doubt.