news
well, after a month of calling the doctor's office over and over again trying to figure out what was going on (am i going to the cardiologist or not...???), we have finally made some progress! i now have an appointment on the 22 of this month....6 weeks after i was supposed to go in! wow. i mean, my doctor said she didn't think my condition was serious...but what if it was? is this how they would treat someone who had a serious health issue?
things are rather difficult for me at the moment. i still have no promising job for the future (or at all, really). i have had to go back to my old job...a job that i very much dislike, because i can't just not work. i have put in several applications and have heard nothing back. it's very discouraging. another discouraging thing...i can't seem to find my place. i don't know where i belong. where do i fit in? what am i going to do with my life? am i going to enjoy my job? where am i going to live? how much longer will i have to stay at a dead end job that i don't like?
tonight my family and i went out to dinner, and afterwards i felt like going to see a movie. you know how sometimes you just want to DO something? outside the house. for fun. that is how i felt, and a movie sounded good. well my mom and grandma were too tired to go see anything, and my brother just refused (he and i are polar opposites when it comes to movies. anything i want to see he absolutely hates). so when my family doesn't want to go do something, and i don't want to go alone, i am pretty much stuck. i have been living in this city for the past 4 months, and i still have no friends. no friends! what the heck?!?! all my friends live in a different city. or a different state. heck, i even have more friends in ENGLAND than in this city. how is this even possible?
it's odd...sometimes there are things we want so badly and the Lord just shuts the door. i don't know why. i don't understand. but i have to trust Him! maybe something better will come along. maybe He will reopen the door at a later point in time. but right now it seems that everywhere i turn, doors are being shut in my face. it's hard not to feel discouraged. it's hard not to feel defeated. it's hard to watch others enjoy the things that, for now, the Lord has said no to in my life.
please pray that i learn to have a better attitude about my job. after all, it is a paycheck! pray that i pay attention to what God is trying to tell me, and that i do His will. pray that i don't lose hope.
good news: I GRADUATE IN 4 DAYS! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
things are rather difficult for me at the moment. i still have no promising job for the future (or at all, really). i have had to go back to my old job...a job that i very much dislike, because i can't just not work. i have put in several applications and have heard nothing back. it's very discouraging. another discouraging thing...i can't seem to find my place. i don't know where i belong. where do i fit in? what am i going to do with my life? am i going to enjoy my job? where am i going to live? how much longer will i have to stay at a dead end job that i don't like?
tonight my family and i went out to dinner, and afterwards i felt like going to see a movie. you know how sometimes you just want to DO something? outside the house. for fun. that is how i felt, and a movie sounded good. well my mom and grandma were too tired to go see anything, and my brother just refused (he and i are polar opposites when it comes to movies. anything i want to see he absolutely hates). so when my family doesn't want to go do something, and i don't want to go alone, i am pretty much stuck. i have been living in this city for the past 4 months, and i still have no friends. no friends! what the heck?!?! all my friends live in a different city. or a different state. heck, i even have more friends in ENGLAND than in this city. how is this even possible?
it's odd...sometimes there are things we want so badly and the Lord just shuts the door. i don't know why. i don't understand. but i have to trust Him! maybe something better will come along. maybe He will reopen the door at a later point in time. but right now it seems that everywhere i turn, doors are being shut in my face. it's hard not to feel discouraged. it's hard not to feel defeated. it's hard to watch others enjoy the things that, for now, the Lord has said no to in my life.
please pray that i learn to have a better attitude about my job. after all, it is a paycheck! pray that i pay attention to what God is trying to tell me, and that i do His will. pray that i don't lose hope.
good news: I GRADUATE IN 4 DAYS! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Comments
And just so you know, I TOTALLY would have gone to see a movie with you! I don't have any friends here either and I NEVER get to do fun things like that. One of my friends came into town a few weeks ago and we went to see Changeling. That was a BIG DEAL!!! I didn't even care that I had to pay $9.50! (But seriously, gag me. That is TOO MUCH!)
Graduation is coming, and I wish your last name was Hill so we could sit and talk during the freaking long time we have to sit there. I can't wait to see you, though! Yay for us!
I am hoping that you'll be at the New Year's Extravanganza Thingy at Camp Eagle this year because I really want to talk to you! Face to face. Internet sucks. Especially because I can totally resound your comments about feeling like your jumping off of a cliff after you graduate: not knowing anything, really.
And I want to hear more about this heart thing - one of God's main ways of teaching me is through my health (and lack thereof!) and I hope that you're leaning on God for the outcome of any test or doctor office visit. Like I said, typing this out doesn't articulate what I want to say very well.
See you in a few weeks??!! Please?
Are you in San Antonio? or did I make that up? Anyway I am thinking of you and your doctors appointment.
YAY for graduation in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!